Women shine bright in our twenties. We’re showered with compliments, feel smart and strong, confident about who we are, we get random freebies, invites to parties, it’s easy to make friends…I mean, the list keeps on going!
But as soon as we start to round the corner and hit 30…*something* changes.
Suddenly it’s not as fun to go clubbing, our bodies don’t agree with us or the food we eat, we need more sleep, priorities have shifted and…well, if you’re single, you start to wonder: “Am I ever going to get married?”
Unfortunately, the big day didn’t happen as you planned and now that you’re 30, life and men just aren’t as forgiving as they used to be. But you still have a chance at getting hitched, as long as you listen to my not-so-nice words of advice:
1. Get out of the office
“Ugh…why don’t I ever meet good guys?”
“Why aren’t my relationships working?”
“The guys that hit on me are so unimpressive.”
Sound familiar?
I hear my friends say it all the time, but maybe…maybe if you take your head out of your paperwork, you’ll realize that you aren’t giving a relationship the time it deserves because you’re working too much.
Don’t give me that dirty look. It’s true.
These days women tend to spend just as much time working as men do…so what are the chances of ever meeting them?
2. He’s Not Gay or a Gal
Here’s a little reality check: If you love gay men as much as we all do, then chances are any guy who comes along won’t compare.
No darling, straight guys don’t usually listen to show tunes, enjoy shopping, and like gossiping about celebrities.
Remember that your gays are like the gals—don’t expect the guy you’re dating to match up to either because he will fail.
Accept that he’s just a dude.
3. High Standards
Have you looked in the mirror lately? Yeah, you have a few wrinkles now, your boobies are starting to sag, and do I detect the formation of a belly under there?!
Yup, I’m saying it—you’re not a spring chicken anymore so loosen up on your standards and give a normal guy a try. And get to the gym will ya? If you’re not taking care of yourself, how can you expect a man to?
4. You’re Too Needy
We’re adults now. There’s no need for endless conversations on the phone, instant messaging and texting while at work, and several check-ins when you’re apart. Give a guy a break and realize that he's allowed to have some time without you.
If you don’t hear from a man for a day, don’t assume that he’s playing games or not into you…he might just be busy.
Quit being annoying and maybe the next guy will stick around.
5. Let Him Pursue You
Do you have an A-type personality? Well then put that attitude away when you’re dating.
There’s nothing wrong with taking control of your life, but that doesn’t mean you can take control of a relationship.
Guys still want to feel like…well, men. So let them pursue you. Trust me, if he’s not the one asking for your number, taking you out, planning your time together, then he’s probably not that interested OR he’s really boring.
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Dr. Stephanie's Note:
I know, some pretty real stuff to digest, right?
I think this advice can totally apply to people seeking a new relationship *and* people who are already in one.
Before you discard it and think that this *totally* isn't relevant, just pause for a moment, and think about the underlying message: you want a fabulous, loving, open person who you feel a connection with...right?
Well, the obvi question here is then...are you showing how fabulous, loving, and open you are?
At the end of the day, the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself, but it would be fabulous to share it with someone. Someone who gets it, and you.
Dr S
xo
1 comments:
Take it from a gay man. If you expect to have the same fabulous relationship with your new beau that you have with your gay-boy-toy, you might as well slap some heels on his feet and send him my way. (If he's cute.) Just remember: gay and straight - - we may have the same parts, but our tongues speak very different languages.
Time to become bi-lingual.
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